Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Karma Shmarma

I thought that trying to be a good person meant that good things were supposed to happen to you. So why is it that I did the absolute nicest thing I've ever done in my entire life, and provided Christmas for over 60 people this past year and my karma is biting me in the ass?

In just a matter of 10 days, I've found out that I may have to have surgery again, my work schedule has changed so that I now have to be up an hour earlier than usual, I got roofied at the club, and today I shattered the screen on my Galaxy Nexus.

10 days. That's all this year has had so far. And in ten days, all of that has happened.

I used to be a horrible person. I was cruel to people, I pushed people away and hurt people before they could hurt me.

Now, I'm trying so hard. For the past few years, I have done everything that I could to become a better person. I've changed. I treat people better, I do HUGE things to help change people's lives.

So why does karma hate me so much? Why is it that in just 10 days time, so many things can go absolutely fucking wrong?

It was easier treating people like shit. At least then, if something bad happened to me, I knew that I deserved it. THIS, well, this is so much harder to deal with now.

Being a good person is a lot of effort if this is the reward for it. Having life treat you like shit, having everything that can go wrong, going wrong. Feeling down, depressed, angry, and.. well.... bruised. That's the word. I feel fucking bruised.

Karma is definitely a bitch, but what the fuck did I do to deserve all of this?