Thursday, December 15, 2011

Stupid shitty parents

I'm frustrated with people right now. How is it that I can't have any more kids, when I am a damned good mom, but others can? People who walk out on their kids, abuse them, manipulate them, neglect them, hurt them? How come those people get to have kids and I can't? I got pregnant at 17 and I took care of my child. I didn't beat him, neglect him, anything. I took parenting classes, I asked for guidance, I listened. I talk to my child openly, I care. I then endured 4 miscarriages and a stillborn before I had another child, my miracle baby. I had to have a hysterectomy because of cancer. I can't have another baby. But you worthless pieces of shit out there beating your kids, abusing them, neglecting them, walking out on them?? YOU CAN??? Wtf? You are sorry pieces of shit that don't deserve to have children. Stop manipulating your kids. Stop using them as pawns in your little fucking games. Stop breeding when you know damned well you can't take care of the ones you already have. Just fucking stop it already. I don't feel sorry for you. I feel sorry for your kids. The innocent children out there that would have been better off if you had allowed someone to adopt them. Where they would have at least had a chance. 
You fucking suck. I really hope you come to realize how incredibly lucky you are to be able to have children. STOP TREATING THEM LIKE SHIT! 
I fucking hate shitty parents. I really really hate them. 

~end rant

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Help me help our troops!

Alright guys, I'm putting out a different kind of call for help. We have a lot of guys stationed over here that don't have families around and that can't go on leave (take time off) for the holidays. In fact, most of our single airmen can't go home for the holidays due to undermanning and or finances. Which means that we are going to have a couple of hundred guys sitting in their dorms alone for Christmas day. That thought depresses me. The squadron does a lot for families around the holidays, but there's not a whole lot done for the airmen. Which sucks, cause they're the ones who need someone the most right now. 
So I've got an idea but I really really need help to pull this one off. 
Me and one other spouse are taking on the project of providing these guys a Christmas. We have no squadron funds to help us with this one, so we're needing help. Our idea is to decorate the dorms, and to provide stockings for all of our troops in our squadron. 
What I need from you is the following:
Stockings
Stocking stuffers (toys, such as tops, slinkies, playing cards, etc, also candy)
Letters to stick in the stockings
Ornaments for the tree
Candy canes
Board games so that they have something to keep them busy during the day

Oriental trading and the dollar tree are perfect for things like this. Every single bit helps, so even if you can only send out one stocking, it will be appreciated. No donation is too small. 
For those who can't send anything but still want to help, you can also donate to our paypal account and I will use the funds to shop for our troops. 

They need us guys. These are guys serving our country in a foreign land. They will be invited to their supervisors homes for the holidays, but really, who wants to have Christmas dinner with your boss? We want to give them something to look forward to, something to wake up too. I'd love to do presents for all of them, but I know that's unrealistic. So my goal is to give them a kid like stocking, filled with fun things for them for the holidays. 

Please help guys. My heart is breaking for them, but I can only do so much on my own. Think of how you would feel if a family member or a loved one was going to be completely alone for the holidays. Think of how you would feel if you couldn't be with your family and friends. Let's try to make the holidays a little bit better for these guys.

Monday, October 10, 2011

#fckCancer

You know how I just posted about the ups and downs of no longer being anonymous on the internet? Well, another downfall hit us yesterday. When you talk to someone each day, you share their troubles, their struggles, their accomplishments and achievements, their lives tend to affect you. I don't think you realize just how much until you're sitting there in tears refreshing your computer and your phone every 30 seconds waiting for an update. Waiting to find out if someone you love, but have never met is going to pull through this time.

Droidbeats has become a very good friend this past year.  He's also  been battling cancer for awhile now. When I woke up yesterday, there was a post on his Twitter account saying that he had been taken in for emergency surgery. His wife was posting the update because Josh had asked her to make sure we knew what happened to him. Josh and his family had an extremely rough day yesterday. As the day continued, his wife, Bella, handed the phone over to Danny, so that we could continue to get updates. The fact that we were included shows us that Josh really did consider us family and close friends.
We were there waiting for him to come out of surgery. We were there when the doctors told Bella that she should use the next 24-48 hours to day goodbye. We were there, anxiously awaiting to see if he was able to see his children before he passed, and we were relieved and grateful that they made it to his bedside in time.
Danny and Bella updated us through it all. And when they finally had to say goodbye, we were able to say ours too. Bella even got online last night and talked to some of us. She thanked us for our support and she passed messages along from Josh.
Needless to say, I cried more tears over someone I've never met than I have for some of those I have known in "real life". Josh gave so much of himself to all of us. He was courageous, loving, kind, and giving right up until the very end. He gave many of us his last messages, although they were done so light heartedly, we didn't really realize we were saying goodbye right then and there.
Josh fought a good battle, and he showed us that even if you've got love and family around you, there's always room for more. We were treated like family not only by him, but by his real family too. Our thoughts and feelings were taken into consideration. I am so grateful to Bella and Danny for including us during such a difficult time.
Sometimes, online can be a pain in the ass. We all know it. I may miss being anonymous at times, but knowing that I made an impact on one life makes it all worth it.
So Josh, this is for you. You may not have gotten to take your #fckcancer tour like you wanted, but please know that you touched a heart all the way in Norfolk, England. And I'm sure you've touched so many others around the world.
We love you. We miss you. #fckCancer 

Wednesday, October 05, 2011

Not so anonymous now

begin rant/

You know there are some days when I feel like I have no where to turn to when I just want to let it all out. There's no forum that I go on where absolutely no one knows me. No group of strangers that I can just go yell and scream and rant and rave and cry and pout without feeling like I'm being judged. Or at least where I don't really give a shit if I am or not. Some days, like today, I start to miss that sense of anonymity.

There's a flip side to that too though. I can remember all too well the days where I would go online and post something that was absolutely heart wrenching to me and no one would be there to respond. There was no one to cheer me up, or to cheer me on during the tough times. It made the isolation that much harder to deal with.

Being online now is completely different. I feel like the only place I could let things out anonymously would be on Myspace. =P Although I'm having a shitty night and could use a secret place to vent about it, I'm not quite THAT desperate.

There is a plus side to not being a random name on the web. Most of the time, if I need someone to talk to, there are plenty of people there. Just on Twitter alone, there are hundreds of people from all walks of life that can get me through just about anything.

When my grandmother died last year, I had support.

When we were struggling to relocate while living in separate countries, I had support.

When the anniversary of my daughter's death came around, I had support.

And even on the nights where I feel completely isolated here, I know that I have support.

Hell, most of my friends live in my computer. They are all teeny tiny little people who live in there sending me hugs when I need them, getting fired up right along with me when someone pisses me off, and encouraging me when I feel like I just can't do anything right.

Tonight is just so confusing. I'm hurting, I'm angry, I'm frustrated. But I don't want anyone that I talk to in real life or online to know why. (Does that piss anyone else off? Real life vs. online? Most of my friends from the internet are better friends than a lot of those that I've met in person) Because it's a really stupid reason to be so upset and  because the person that I'm upset with is involved and invested in me both online and off.

So where do you go when you need to feel but you don't want to hurt someone? When you want support but you can't really express why you're so hurt and upset?

I know that I can jump into some random forum and get it out of my system. So what is preventing me from doing it? What keeps me from being able to tell strangers why I'm upset? What in the hell makes me feel like it's better to hold it in than to let it out this time?

I feel like screaming, like crying, like clenching my fists in frustration over the entire situation.

Yeah, this fucking sucks.

/endrant

Thursday, September 22, 2011

RIP to Officer MacPhail



This rant was taken off a forum where people value their anonymity, so I'm not going to give the name of the person who wrote it. However, I will say it wasn't me. I just absolutely positively 100% agree with everything that this person said. I couldn't have said it any better myself.




lmao. i'm glad the justice system had the balls to go through with what they said they were going to do for once. GOOD.

first of all, no one but the 12 jurors, the lawyers, and the judges know what evidence was presented to make his case. everyone in the media and all of his little fan base can pretend that there wasn't enough evidence, but he was given a fair trial and ample appeals. you don't know the extent of the evidence, you weren't on the jury, and unless you were, you better find a better excuse than 'there wasn't enough evidence.' Rolling Eyes and if you're even ignorant enough to suggest racism, give me a fucking break. the head justice that heard his appeal was black, as was the head of the georgia parole board.

secondly, this man had his day in court. he had his lawyers (you are assigned a PLETHORA of them when your sentenced to death), you are given plenty of appeals, and the time most inmates spend on death row is lengthy. furthermore, his whole act of wanting to take a polygraph yesterday is bullshit. not only are polygraphs not admissible in court, but one can learn how to pass it. plus, why wait till the morning of the execution to take it to 'prove his innocence'?

i am all for the death penalty. in this day and age (read: IN THIS DAY AND AGE) it is rare that mistakes are made with the advanced tests that are done on DNA. the fact of the matter is that more people die waiting to be executed than ever actually are. in 2010, only 48 people were put to death. and how many people were brutally murdered? what about this police officer that was murdered off duty helping a homeless man? did he get a trial to prove his innocence? did he get people rallying to save his life? did he get a sedative an hour before he was put to death and then put to sleep by a cocktail of drugs? who cared about him and his family and his future? no one, because no one gave a FUCK.

and furthermore, where were all the 'death penalty abolitionists' in texas yesterday? because there was an execution there too. but i guess if they're executing a white man, there's not as much publicity to be had, and the race card can't be played, and we can't cry to cry to obama and to the NAACP, etc etc. PLEASE.

go ahead and crucify me. i'm not coming back to this bleeding heart thread.


RIP to officer macphail <3

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Dear Andonayia,

It's been 7 years, 11 months, 3 weeks and 4 days since I held your lifeless body in my arms, praying to a God I didn't believe in that the doctors were wrong, hoping and wishing that you would breathe, that you would somehow, some way, be alive.  Nearly 8 years have passed and the memory of that day has never gotten any easier.

I was told I couldn't have any more babies, and after having 4 miscarriages, I fully believed it to be true. The day the doctor told me that I was pregnant with you, my heart sank. Four prior pregnancies had failed, 4 precious little ones taken from me. I couldn't bear to go through another loss like that. Yet, here I was, pregnant again, despite having taken so many precautions, despite being told that I was barren and couldn't conceive again. 

I lived the first 24 weeks of my pregnancy is absolute fear. I refused to say your name out loud, I didn't want the doctors to confirm whether you were a boy or a girl. Try as I might though, I couldn't keep myself from bonding with you. I knew right away you were a girl. I don't know how I knew, but I did. I never even picked a boys name for you. You were going to be Andonayia Gabrielle, and that was all there was too it. I read you stories, all the while telling myself not to get my hopes up too much. I convinced myself that even though I probably wouldn't be able to carry you long enough, I needed to do everything that I could to be the best mom I could be for you while I carried you. So that I didn't live with that what ifs, and the whys. So that I didn't blame myself when the inevitable happened. 

I dreaded my ultrasound. I hadn't felt you kick in several days and I was sure they weren't going to find a heartbeat. Imagine my surprise when not only did they find it, but it was strong and healthy! I was 24 weeks, 2 days pregnant when the doctors gave me the all clear. I was finally able to relax, to breathe, and to say your beautiful name out loud. Seeing you on the screen, your little legs, you're arms, your heartbeat, gave me more joy than I'll ever be able to describe. 

We finally told everyone about you. I set up the nursery myself, picking every item carefully, wanting to make sure that I gave you the best possible start to life that I could. I washed all of your clothes and folded them carefully into your dresser. I hung the mobile over your crib, and I finally said your name out loud. I was going to have a beautiful baby girl, and I couldn't be more excited. 

Then the fevers started. I kept going to the doctor and I kept being told I had a kidney infection. I was put on round after round of antibiotics, but nothing was making this so called kidney infection get any better.  After a month, I was scared out of my mind. I knew this wasn't just a kidney infection. But nothing, nothing at all could have prepared me for what was really wrong. 

I had ended up back in the emergency room with yet another fever. They wanted to send me home on more antibiotics, but something pushed me to fight them. Call it mother's intuition, call it a woman knowing her own body, call it what you like, but I knew deep in my heart that something was seriously wrong. 
They ended up admitting me that night. The next morning, the doctor came in and did an ultrasound. She decided to send me for a more in depth ultrasound, telling me that you might have a birth defect. My mind fluttered to Down's Syndrome, Cerebal Palsy, etc. I knew it would be an adjustment, but I also knew you were worth it all.  Absolutely nothing could have prepared me for the news I was about to receive. 

Four long, agonizing hours after the in depth ultrasound, the Dr finally came into the room and told me that you had Anencephaly and that there was absolutely no chance of you surviving. I was 28 weeks 3 days pregnant. I was supposed to be safe. YOU were supposed to be safe. 

For the next month, I endured second, third and fourth opinions. They all came back with the same sickening, sad, horrifying news. There was absolutely no chance you would survive. I had to have multiple amnios in order to remove the extra fluid that was building up around you. My amniotic sac was so full, it was pushing my lungs up into my heart, and we were now running the risk of me not surviving either. But I couldn't let go. I couldn't bear to believe them. I thought that if I just kept holding on, if I did everything just right, then you would be ok. 

Then on September 19, 2003 my body failed me. Failed you. My water broke. Within 33 minutes, you were out. I had felt you kicking up until the time I started pushing. I tried so hard not to push baby girl. I fought back as hard as I could, but it just wasn't hard enough. At 12:33 pm, you were born. 
You weighed 3 pounds, 5 ounces and were 16 inches long. You had gorgeous black curls on the back of your head, and the biggest, brightest blue eyes I had ever seen. You had ten tiny perfect fingers and ten tiny little toes. 

You never took a single breath. 

I held your lifeless body for as long as they would let me. I cried, I prayed to a God that I didn't believe in, I begged for everyone to be wrong, I wished harder than ever that you would take a breath. Just breathe baby girl, please...... But you never did. 

I had you baptized. I guess I was thinking that just in case there really was a God, I needed to make sure that I covered all of my bases. I NEEDED to believe in a God right then and there. Without a God, I had to face the thought of your precious little body rotting away in that cold, lonely casket. Even now, when all faith in God has ceased to exist, I still struggle with that. 

As each heart wrenching year goes by, not only do I relive every brutal moment, but I can't stop myself from seeing both the beautiful little girl you would have been, but also the tiny little skeleton that your body must have become by now. 

We had a funeral for you. You wore a little red dress with white lace accents. Even though it was a preemie size, you swam in it. I taped pictures of us all in your casket so that you would never be lonely. I swaddled you in the blanket that I had made for you. The blanket was huge compared to you, and took up the rest of the space in the infant sized casket.

 It was raining the day we buried you. We played a song by Buddy Jewel called "Help Pour Out the Rain". We had dozens of pink roses that we all laid on your casket after it was lowered into the ground. We also had balloons, so many pink balloons.  There was a mylar balloon that said "It's a girl" that our friend had gotten for us. We had intended to keep the balloon as a keepsake, but the wind caught it and took it away. Your big brother just looked at me and said "It's ok Mommy, Andonayia just wanted it more than us". I was so grateful for that moment, so thankful that he understood just what I needed to hear at that moment. 

Andy girl, it's been almost 8 years. I still miss you as much today as I did the day I had to place your little body into that cold dark ground. I still think about you often. Every year, my birthday comes around, and I have the hardest time celebrating, because I know that in a mere 4 days, it will be your birthday. A day that reminds me that you'll never blow out a candle, you'll never ride a bike, you'll never go to prom or get married. My heart still breaks for you baby. 

Mommy hasn't forgotten you. I love you. 

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Your right to be an ASSHAT

Moving to England has had it's ups and downs, and it's definitely been an eye opener for me. What I notice most is both the huge amount of support for American troops, and the insane amount of cruelty when it comes to those same troops. Let me explain...

My husband serves in the United States Air Force. I am a Navy veteran. So when it comes to military life, we're not noobs. We both made a choice, individually at first, then as a family to serve our country, and we do it without regret. We've received care packages from people that we only know through the internet, just because they want to show their support in some small way. Those care packages always make the days a little brighter. We get told thank you on occasion from other internet friends for our sacrifices. It's those little things that mean the world to us when times are tough. Those are the things that remind us of why we chose to defend our country.

Then there's the other side of things, the heart breaking side, which will probably be more focused on in this particular rant.

There are the asshats that bemoan the military, the war, and have even gone so far as to picket funerals of soldiers who have died in combat. WTF?

The thing that sucks, is that we can't really get mad. We are over here, away from all of our family, trying to learn to make new friends, in a new home, new country, new culture, serving our country so that people like this have the FREEDOM to be the dick heads that they are.

I cringe when someone says that war isn't necessary. Do you really think that we send our husbands, our children's fathers out to combat; hoping, praying, wishing that he will make it home, just to play games? Do you really think we sleep countless nights alone for something that could be resolved with a game of Tiddly Winks and some Oreos?

 I hate this war just as much as anyone else. I've pulled bodies out of the rubble on September 11, 2001. I still can't stand the smell of burnt hair or skin. It lingers in the back of my mind, and launches an assault on my thoughts and emotions when I do have to smell it. I remember the bodies being pulled out, I remember the screams, the cries for help, the raspy voices begging for someone to dig them out from under their concrete coffins. And I remember America crying out for justice, for retaliation, and yes, even for revenge. I remember kissing my kids goodbye and wondering if it would be the last time that I would ever see them, since we were told to have our affairs in order, we probably wouldn't make it back alive.

I spent 159 days on an aircraft carrier with 6000 other people with no port calls, no breaks, just war. I remember what it was like with a clarity that I wish would cease to exist. I went without sleep, without the luxuries of phones calls home, internet privileges, hell, I did it without the luxury of hot water most days. I didn't do it to be mean or to hurt people. I did it because our country was attacked, and someone needed to stand up for our citizens.

I kiss my husband goodnight every night, and watch him walk out the door, with no certainty that he's returning. He can leave at any moment to go out there and defend our country, to defend our freedoms. I'd love nothing more than to have his boots safely tucked under my bed at night. Hell, I'd give my right arm to have him IN my bed at night. Instead, he's out defending some jerks' right to talk crap about the military.

The absolute worse thing though, is seeing these soldiers funerals picketed. I don't care what religious affiliation you choose to have, or what ideals and beliefs you want to spout off at the mouth about. But leave the funerals alone. The dead soldier can't hear you. However, his family can. The family who has already sat there, looking out the window, watching the uniformed officers walking up to their homes. The family that knew what would be said before the first knock was even delivered. The family who sacrificed their time with loved ones so that you could have the freedoms that you so enjoy. THAT family is the one listening to you picket the funeral. That coffin holds someone's child. Possibly someone's husband, father, brother, sister, wife, and even mother. Those are human beings being laid to rest, and they can't even get that.

Have these picketers stopped to think that if they pulled that crap in another country, they would be fined, stoned, possibly even killed?  No. They haven't. They take their civil liberties for granted without ever stopping to think that the reason they have them is because a SOLDIER gave his life to defend their right to be free to speak their minds. They don't think about it, because that would mean that maybe war isn't all fun and games. Maybe, just maybe, people are fighting because our country needs us. If you hate the country so damned much, feel free to leave. Feel free to move somewhere else. Somewhere that doesn't let you get away with things that you take for granted in the States.

I can't stand this war. I can't stand sleeping alone at night. I hate the fact that almost all of my friends live in my computer, because I've moved around too much in my life to ever plant my roots anywhere. However, I will support my soldiers no matter the cost to myself. I will kiss my husband goodbye every night, and I will continue to tell him to stay safe. And if the time ever comes where I'm the one receiving the knock at my door, telling me that his boots will no longer be getting left in the living room for me to trip over, well, all I can say is that at that point, Fuck your right to Freedom of Speech. I'll be exercising my right to kick your ass.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Putting on my big girl panties

Well, it's been 8 months since we uprooted everything we've known in our lives and moved to a new country. This have definitely been different than we expected. Up until just a few short weeks ago, it's been miserable and I've wanted nothing more than to leave this place and go home.
The entire move has been a nightmare. Fighting with TMO, the passport office, dealing with homelessness for awhile because we cleared base housing when they told us too, but couldn't leave when we were supposed to. The kids being in 3 different schools in one school year. The change in weather, and yes, even a change in culture. I went from having a very active social life to having no social life at all. I was starved for adult interaction, but hated calling anyone back home because all I ever did was bitch and complain about how pathetic my life was. I was making excuses for my behavior, I was justifying my temper tantrum, and I can see that now.
But somewhere, somehow, through all the tears, the whining, the frustrations, something finally clicked in my scattered brain, and I remembered why we are here.
We didn't move here expecting unicorns and rainbows. We didn't save for years and years and dream of living here our entire lives. We came here because my husband serves his country. We came here because his country told us to. This is where we are needed, and this is where we will stay until our tour of duty is up. We came here because that's what you do when you join the military. You make sacrifices.
Is this really a sacrifice though? I mean, for crying out loud, I live in ENGLAND! Sure, the weather sucks, and they can't tell a cookie from a biscuit, but is it really as bad as I've made it out to be? Maybe, but then again, maybe not.
We have opportunities here that we wouldn't have had in the States. We can travel, and for really cheap too. I can go to London anytime I want to. I was able to help out with the riot cleanup (Which I gotta say, was kind of devastating). I can introduce my British friends to the wonders of American cooking. (The food here is very bland). I can wear dresses with jeans and not get more than a glance my way. I can color my hair any funky color I want to, and it's considered normal.
I have a brand new start in life. No one here truly knows me yet. They've only seen the medicated me. The one who couldn't adjust to her surroundings. The one who wanted to give up and go home.
Well, I'm off my meds now. I'd rather be a little off the wall and unbalanced than to be that miserable depressed whiny ass brat that I been for the past 8 months.
I've decided that going home isn't an option. Being miserable for 4 years isn't either. So I'm going to make the best out of the time that we have here. I don't know for sure what I'm going to be doing yet. I'm still kind of floundering around with that. But who cares? I can do ANYTHING I want to. I can completely reinvent myself if I want. Cause let's be honest, I seriously doubt a single one of my real life friends will be bothering to come and visit. So there's nothing holding me back. There's nothing stopping me from being the person I've always felt that I had to suppress.
So watch out England. My husband may be over here to help you defend your country, and to defend our own, but I'm here to raise some hell!!
And btw, they are COOKIES. Biscuits are what you serve with gravy. And tea is meant to be cold and sweet, not hot and milky.
I've got my big girl panties on now. No more tantrums for me. This is the life I chose when I said "I Do", and damn it, I'm gonna do it, and I'm gonna do it with a huge smile on my face! 

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Roller Coaster from Hell

Life has been a massive roller coaster of emotions since we've moved here. I know many of you have seen my Tweets and read some of the stuff I've put on +. I feel like I need to set a few things straight, since my rants are usually me just ranting about the moment, but people are too dumb to realize that.
Yes, I am absolutely miserable over here. I've never been so depressed in my entire life, and it scares the hell out of me.
Does that mean that I don't value the friendships that I've made since I've been here? Absolutely not. When I'm bitching and complaining about how stupid people are, am I referring to those I consider friends? No. I'm referring to how people treat me without knowing me, at all. There is a huge difference. So please don't feel that me wanting to leave here means that I want to leave those individuals. It just means that I need to take my life as a whole and evaluate what is going to be best for me and my family.
Do I hate being a military wife? No. I realize that I have been bitching and complaining a lot about life over here. Overall, I have had an amazing experience being a military wife. The support for military families that I have seen from our country has been incredible, and I appreciate the care packages, the warm wishes, etc.
What I hate is my life right now. It's called environmental depression. My depression is directly relavent to the weather over here. You can always tell when it's sunny out, because those are the days when I'm perky and not hating it. I wish that I could control this. I wish that I could change it. I don't understand it, so there's nothing that I can do about it. I have always loved the rain, so why it makes me so miserable here is beyond me.
The military put us here, but they can't control the weather. So yes, I will bitch and complain about the military, because that's what brought me here. It doesn't mean that I hate my country, it doesn't mean that I don't support the military. It means that I'm in over my head and I need help. The military is the only way for me to get it right now. So please don't confuse my depression with a hate for the military way of life. They are separate issues in my mind, even if I can't always or don't always convey that way of thinking in my posts.

Tuesday, July 05, 2011

Casey Anthony

In just a few short hours since the jury came back with a "Not Guilty" verdict, I have seen numerous outcries from around the world about how a woman has gotten away with murder. People yelling and screaming about Justice for Caylee. What I haven't seen disturbs me even more than a not guilty verdict.
I haven't seen people standing up for the child in the grocery store who is being belittled, yanked around, threatened, or even physically hurt. I haven't seen anyone walk up and pinch a woman as hard as she is pinching her infant child who is howling in pain. I haven't seen anyone step up and interfere. With all this technology available to us, I haven't seen anyone pull out a phone and call the police to report abuse. 
It usually takes SEVERE abuse in public before someone bothers to report it. I can guarantee that Casey Anthony did SOMETHING at some point that made people shake their heads and comment about how she took care of her child. However, did anyone step in and DO anything? No. 
A child died. Whether it was at the hands of Casey Anthony, or a murderer yet to be caught, a little girl has been killed. In my opinion, it could have and should have been prevented. No, there's not justice for Caylee yet. Hopefully there will be one day. But while you're crying and whining about how our legal system failed yet again, think about yourself. Think about how many times in your life you've bit your tongue. How many times you've turned a blind eye. 
It is better to show concern and act than to turn your head and feel guilty later. 
Now, am I saying to start calling Child Protective Services every time a parent disciplines a child? Absolutely not. But think about this: That woman who just slapped the hell out of her child hard enough to leave a red mark across his face in public is probably doing a lot worse in the privacy of her own home. 
The parents of the toddler who is running around outside unsupervised and getting into the middle of the road are probably not watching the child very well at any other time either. 
Casey Anthony wasn't convicted. There is NOTHING that we can do about it now. Not legally. What we can do, is watch out for the kids all around us that are being abused. 
If you don't want to make a phone call, fine. Donate your time, money, unwanted cell phones, clothes, toys, household items to a domestic violence shelter. Or to a group home or orphanage. Help the kids who got out. 
But please, stop yelling about how horrible everything is if you are not willing to make a change yourself. 
Someone knows what happened to poor Caylee. Someone suspected something. Yet everyone kept their mouths shut until it was too late. Don't be that person. Don't let another child go to his/her grave because you couldn't be bothered to stand up for them. 
Be a voice for those that can't speak for themselves.

Edit* I was not able to fully follow the trial since the UK television channels that I get did not have trial coverage. I only know what I was able to view in online newpapers. While I think Casey is a vile human being and should have been convicted of at least hiding a corpse, or an accessory after the fact, I don't know the evidence. I will choose to believe that the jurors did what they could. Remember, it only takes 1 jury member to disagree with a verdict for it to not be able to go through. I will not get mad at members of the jury for their decision. As far as I am concerned, Caylee's death/murder is still unsolved and the investigation needs to be reopened. 

A dev/enthusiasts guide to living with a woman


Ok guys. It’s payback time. You didn’t honestly expect me to give your women a guide on how to live with you without pointing out some of your flaws too, did you? Aww, you did? Well, too bad.
Alright men, we do what we can to support you. We listen to you drone on and on about your damned phones. We plan our monthly budgets to include all these new toys that you think you absolutely have to have RIGHT NOW. We cook for you, we wash your nasty ass clothes, we scrub your toilets, and yes, here it comes, we suck your cocks. But what does  that get us? Not your appreciation, not diamonds, hell, not even flowers most of the time. We get taken for granted. Or at least, that’s how it feels sometimes.  So here’s the deal. If you want your women to follow the guide that I put out for them, then you need to start doing a few things too.
1. Every 20 minutes, walk away from your computer and acknowledge her. Whether you give her a kiss, ask about her day, go smoke with her, etc. And no, asking her to make you a sammich does not count as acknowledgement. There have been studies that have shown that you will actually be MORE productive if you get up every twenty minutes and focus for 5 minutes on something else.
2. Pick your “nights out” just like you would if you were actually going out. If you’re staying up all night on the computer and she’s not getting her time with you, then you’re kind of being a jerk. So you and her need to agree on a reasonable time for you to get off the computer each night. Something that leaves time for you to spend together. Decide when it’s important to stay up late hanging with the community. If she were to go to the clubs every night of the week, you’d be upset. Maybe you’re still in the house, but you are still as unattainable as if you were out clubbing too.
3. When she takes the time to cook you a meal, or even make you a sammich, have the decency to sit down and enjoy it. Don’t sit there and inhale it at your computer. Go to the table, the couch, where ever you would eat if you didn’t have a computer. (Scary thought, I know) Whatever you’re in the process of doing will still be there after you eat.
4. While I do think that women need to be giving proper blow jobs, you guys have to do some work too. If we are trying to make love, fuck, screw, get it on, whatever you want to call it, do not, I repeat, DO NOT geek speak to us. Unless we ask you too. You have got to leave the coding at the computer.
5. Also, for the love of bacon, manscape. There is nothing worse than going down on a guy who can’t be bothered to keep it trimmed. How would you like it if we had a huge bush that we didn’t take care of? You wouldn’t. So please return the favor and clean it up.
6. We appreciate the little things in life. We really do. Stop and get us flowers on occasion. Buy us our favorite candy, or hell, our favorite bottle of liquor. Take one of those post its off of your desk, write something sweet on it, and put it somewhere that we will see it. We NEED to know that we are important enough to be noticed. And the little things mean the most.
7. With all of that technology at your fingertips, you absolutely will not be excused from remembering important dates or events. So make sure you get it all inputed into your device, set a reminder for it and then do it. Acknowledge it. Cause the whole “Oh shit, I forgot” line isn’t going to fly anymore.
8. Oh, back to the bedroom for a minute. We are not keyboards. You can’t push a few buttons and think it’s going to provide you with positive feedback. So take your damned time and get us off. If you don’t know what the hell you’re doing, then take the Android ranters advice and fucking research it. Learn what the hell you’re doing before you start fucking with your device. If you want any chance of rooting us without getting a brick upside your head, then do it right. There’s nothing worse than making a grocery list during sex. But we might as well at times, with as much effort as you’re providing. (Mine excluded, he’s been properly trained).
9. Learn to have a conversation that doesn’t revolve around root. Yes, we may be proud of you, yes we may support you in what you’re doing, but if you’re going to talk root all damned day, then you had better be prepared to listen to us talk about who’s relationship is falling apart, who’s cheating on who, who’s kid is a rotten little shit, who had the audacity to go to Target in her grubby sweats, who’s fatter than we are, etc. We’re catty as fuck. So if you don’t want to hear about our shit non stop, all fucking day, then broaden your conversational topics just a bit, or we are going to start setting egg timers to tell you when to shut the fuck up about your phone/tablet/etc.
10. Get off your asses and out of the house at least one day a week. Required things out of the house don’t count either. You are probably not actually allergic to the sun. Fresh air will not kill you. Either do something with us, or do something with your other friends, but for crying out loud, go outside.
11. Last but not least, your faith in your own abilities is astounding at times. But, please please talk to her before you root your devices. Remember, how much you spend on your toys affects her too. If you royally fuck it up, if you manage to brick it, she is going to be out some money too. Letting you guys have your toys is expensive. So cut us some slack if we are a little freaked out at first about you voiding your warranty. As your abilities grow and develop, so will our ability to be ok with you rooting, without the panic attacks that we are sure to have in the beginning.
There’s a lot for you guys to learn too. We want to be supportive, we want to be there for you, but you make it really fucking difficult at times. Follow this simple guide and you might just find things working out for both sides a hell of a lot better than they were. It’s not going to be easy. You’re going to have to show her that she is just as/more important to you as your phone. Hard concept to grasp, but you can do it. I have faith in you.

A woman's guide to living with a Dev enthusiast


During the past few years I’ve noticed a serious lack of women supporting their men. These same women are the ones whining and complaining that their men don’t support them. So here’s the skinny on how to live with your Android junkie. You’d be wise to heed my advice, cause I’m awesome, you’re not, and that’s why I was asked to write this. I will break it down into step by step instructions for you. You need to do each of these in their entirety. He doesn’t want you to pick and choose, he’s having you read this cause this is what he expects/needs from you.
1. Stop nagging him. You can’t ask him to do something while he is involved with the community. Whether he is devving, theming, flashing, or just bullshitting with other enthusiasts, you can’t expect anything that you say to him to actually be heard. It’s an- in -one ear- and- out- the- other thing. So talk to him when he’s away from his computer/phone. Tell him that you need a few minutes of his time for him to focus solely on you. The guys are hyper focused and unless you make it clear that you need their undivided attention, you won’t get it.
2. Make what you say count for something. You’re interrupting something that is important to him. Just because you don’t understand what he’s doing doesn’t mean it’s a waste of time.  So don’t spend those precious focused moments on something that he could care two shits about.
3. Take some time out of your day to really listen to him. Yes, he’s droning on and on about his phone and you’re bored with hearing about it. But when was the last time you actually HEARD anything that he said to you when he was talking? I think you’ll be surprised to find that you are tuning him out as often as he tunes you out. Start showing your support. If he completes a task that was daunting to him, congratulate him. Make a big deal out of it. It’s important to him, make him know that you are supportive of him and proud of his accomplishments.
4. If you really want to make him focus on you, or notice you, take part in what he’s doing. Learn something about Android. Anything at all. Taking the plunge to learn about what he’s doing will be beneficial to your relationship. You learn something new and he respects the fact that you care about him enough to get involved. But don’t, and I repeat DON’T ask him to teach you. This leads to frustrations on both parts. Take the initiative and learn something on your own. And then talk to him about it.
5. Shave your damned legs. Regularly. Do you honestly think that he doesn’t notice you? Well, he does. Get out of your damned pajamas every single day. Shave. Trim where needed. Keep your shit nice and pretty. He might seem geeky to you, but he can still appreciate a sexy woman. Be that woman, not a damned grizzly bear.
6. Learn that bacon IS in fact a food group. Now, does everything that you cook  HAVE to have bacon? No, but you really do need to cook for him. Make him take the time away from the phone or computer to eat with you. Even if all you do is watch DVR’d episodes of Dr. Who or Ghost Hunters while you’re eating. The point is to associate good feelings (food, shows he likes, etc) with you. If you can’t cook, then go here. http://birdsgrub.wordpress.com (yep, shameless plug) The recipes are proven to satisfy even the pickiest dev/enthusiast.
7. Blow jobs are a part of your job description. I don’t care if you don’t like it. Learn to like it. Make yourself love it to the point that you fantasize about having his cock in your mouth. And just sucking his dick isn’t enough. Woman up and swallow it. He can get back to the computer much quicker if there isn’t a mess to clean up afterwards. When he’s at his computer, push his chair out just enough for you to get on your knees in front of him and suck him off, swallow, get up and walk away. He will appreciate it and you will reap the benefits later. (Stop bitching about it. It’s not nasty, it’s an essential part of any good relationship)
8. Stop asking him to do shit around the house. That’s your job. A woman’s place is in the kitchen and you would being doing both of you a favor if you remembered that. You need to maintain the house, inside and out. Yes, that means that you get off your ass and mow the damned lawn too. He has enough to do supporting your ass, it’s up to you to do the rest. (Now if you work, you get a small pass. He can take out the trash for you, but that’s it)
9. Offer yourself to him. If he’s locked in his office and you can’t get his attention, the best way to do it is NOTto disconnect the modem. That’s going to piss him off royally and make life a living hell for you. Instead, get on your own computer and request a video chat. Now, in order for this to work, you need to make it worth him looking at. So yes, put on a kinky little negligee, or a little tank top and boy shorts, whatever HE likes. Then get on your computer and show him what he’s missing by being locked away.
10. If you’re not going to do any of this, or if you don’t do ALL of it, then STFU. I’m tired of you girls whining but not putting in any effort at all to please your man. He is who he is. And you fell in love with him just like that. You can’t get pissed now if he refuses to change. But what you can do and should do is change your own attitude about his choices.
Now this is just a starter guide. There’s a lot more that you could do for your man that you probably aren’t bothering to do right now. But I’m pretty sure that I’ve managed to appall most of the women already. I don’t really care. Cause had they been doing this shit from the beginning, their guys wouldn’t be requesting a truly supportive Android wife to write this out for them.
Guys, feel free to print this out in it’s entirety and present it to your woman. But be prepared to get hit upside the head with it when/if she reads it. Personally, I would think a smack to the head would be well worth it if any of this actually stuck with her. Here’s hoping all my favorite enthusiasts find a happy ending. ;-P

Making a Marriage work

I may very well have helped save a marriage tonight. A friend of my husband’s has been going through a really hard time with her husband and they were on the brink of divorce. Now, I say that she is a friend of my husbands, but they never ever talk anymore. Her and I talk and we get along really well. It seems like he’s always been friends with girls that are a lot like me, but for some odd reason, he’s always dated moronic imbeciles. So anyways, her and I have become friends. She’s a total sweetie, but her and her hubby have flubbed up quite a bit. So it got me thinking about life, love, and what marriage is really all about.
I’ve been through 2 divorces already. Yes, me. I’m 30 years old and on husband number 3. So what do I know about marriage? What do I really know about love? A lot actually. Since I’ve been in 2 failed marriages before, I wanted to make sure that this one was right. I had no intention of ever getting married again. EVER. So, how did I end up married just 10 days after my divorce from my ex was final? No, I wasn’t cheating. I waited until I was out of that marriage before I moved on. I did meet the man of my dreams while I was waiting for my divorce to become finalized.
My marriage hasn’t always been easy. But over the past couple of years, I’ve learned more about love than I had learned in an entire lifetime.
  1. Love isn’t perfect. It has it’s ups and downs, it’s ins and outs. But if you refuse to give up, then you’ll be ok.
  2. Divorce should never be in your vocabulary. It’s not an option.
  3. The little things mean the most.
  4. Your spouse should always come first. Even before the kids. So many marriages end when the kids move out of the house because everyone was so focused on the kids, they lost track of the relationship. If you put your spouse first, then you will still have a strong, loving bond even after the nest is empty. And you'll set an awesome example for your children too.
  5. Fight fair. Once you’ve resolved an issue, don’t bring it back up, don’t throw it in the other person’s face.
  6. Don’t ever be too busy for each other. Even if you snatch 5 minutes a few times a day, focus on each other.
  7. Have sex. Wild, uninhibited sex.
  8. Talk openly about sexual desires with each other without judgement or repulsion. Be open and honest with each other.
  9. Trust your partner. Even if they’ve cheated before. Once you’ve forgiven them, you can’t keep throwing it  up in their face. Otherwise, you’ll always be concentrating on the other woman, even when there isn’t one.
  10. Write love letters. Sometimes, just write “I love you” on a post it note. That little note can make someone’s horrible day that much better.
  11. Stop nagging. You’re not his mother, you’re his wife.
  12. Be supportive of each other. If one person decides that they want you guys to travel for a year, do it. Live. You only get one life, and the outcome is the same for everyone. We all die. So live fully while you can. Live your dreams, no matter how silly they may seem.
  13. Save money. No matter how hard this is, put money back every pay day. Even if you’re living paycheck to paycheck, you can still put back 10 dollars. Having a savings, even a small one, will help you to not fight about finances, which is a leading cause of divorce.
  14. Always take care of yourself. Don’t be the girl that stays in her pajamas all day. Take a few minutes every morning to get dressed.
  15. SHAVE YOUR LEGS. I mean, seriously? No one wants to sleep with a grizzly bear.
  16. Stand up for your spouse. Even if you’re livid with them, stand up for them. Make it clear that you still love him/her.
  17. Don’t trash talk your SO. Have one friend that is completely supportive of marriage and vent to them if you need to. But don’t ever ever talk down about your spouse to others. Don’t bring family and friends into it. You’re adults. Talk to each other. Work it out.
These little things help so much in a marriage. Making minor adjustments will make all the difference in the world. Remember to communicate with each other. The little annoyances can sometimes end up being a huge fight because no one spoke up before. Don’t wait for an explosion guys.
I can honestly say that doing these simple little things has made all the difference in my life. I’m truly happy. I love, I trust, I refuse to even entertain the idea of a divorce. I try really hard now not to pick stupid fights. I’m getting a lot better about evaluating a situation before I get mad. There are times when I’m upset and he’ll start nagging me to talk to him about it. I have to calmly explain that I’m processing it. That I’m trying to decide if it’s even worth being upset about. Most of the time, it’s not. But once I’ve made that decision, I’m not so bothered by whatever it was that had me upset.
I hope you can be happy. I hope that you can make some changes if they are needed. Marriage is a beautiful thing, if you allow it to be.

Can't feed 'em, don't breed 'em

So, this guy is getting all kinds of shit for a bumper sticker. Here's the news story.  http://www.wbaltv.com/news/16726158/detail.html I say, it's about damned time someone stood up for those of us that are paying taxes to feed people's children. If you need a leg up, fine. If you need some temporary assistance, fine. But if you are abusing the damned system, go to hell. I'm sick and tired of people refusing to take a job that they feel is beneath them just because they can live a fairly decent life on welfare. 
How pathetic is that? People really need to start taking care of their own. This is complete bullshit. I emailed the man and told him that I completely agree with his bumper sticker. I am glad that he is making sure that those that need the services get it, and that those that don't, and that are abusing the system are called out. It's there for people who actually need a little help getting back on their feet. Welfare of any type was not invented so that the government could raise your damned kids for you. GAH! This woman knew the rules going in. She knew and she signed a contract stating that no one would be in her home for more than a certain amount of time. Trust me, the housing contracts cover everything. If she is being evicted, then it's because she screwed up. Big time. Also, they don't usually evict you the very first time you screw up, so I am going to assume that she has been warned and has been in trouble before. This sob story of hers doesn't fly with me. I would love to tell her to stop having kids. I'm tired of paying for them. Five kids later and she just now thinks that maybe it's time to go to school and get a job? Hello? Does anyone else find this a little bass ackwards? I hate people like this. She gets no sympathy from me. But I will gladly donate a few bucks to this guys beer fund.

Straight gay pride

During my recent talks with several people in the gay community, I have heard some very disturbing things. I've heard about couples wanting to get married, and not being legally allowed to. I've heard about couples wanting to adopt and being turned down. I've heard about suicides that could have been prevented, and about how cruel people can be. What I haven't heard much of is support. It seems to be a rare precious gem for those in the gay community to come across. I can't help but ask why?
It's not like being gay is anything new. Research shows that as far back as 1632, there have been gays, lesbians and bisexuals in positions of trust and power. We have idolized people but would be shocked to learn that many of them were part of the gay community. For instance, our beloved James Dean. Yep, he was a bisexual male. Anderson Cooper, CNN news anchor and Gloria Vanderbilts son, was gay. Mary Cheney, Vice President Dick Cheney's daughter is also gay. Boy George, ok, well, that's a given. lol Glenn Burke, a gay man who played baseball for both the Dodgers and later the Oakland A's. Queen Christinia of Sweden, a gay woman who took the crown at age 6 after her parents sudden death.
These people were all accepted. Some of them have been idolized, others have been made famous simply because of their death. Yet, so many would be forgotten, their reputations ruined, their graves desecrated if people knew the truth about their sexuality. Why? Just because they were/are gay doesn't mean that they are any different than the person that was idolized. It really shouldn't make two shits of a difference. Yet, it does.
Because while some can be idolized, others are teased, taunted, put down, some downright tormented. The sad part is that it's not just strangers that do this. Sometimes, the worst of the brutality comes from those that are supposed to accept us, no matter what. It comes from our parents, who make snide remarks about the gay community, it comes from our friends who call the quiet guy a faggot. Often times, it comes from siblings, teachers, counselors, pastors, doctors, even social workers. They are blind to their actions. They refuse to believe that being gay is not a choice. It's not a disease. There is nothing wrong with it. If society would just stop being so judgemental, then they would see that.
So, who can you turn to when it seems like the rest of the world hates you? Who do you talk to that will accept you just the way that you are? There is help. There are people that care. I've tried to get as many resources as possible, but I'm sure that there are many more. If you know of any, please feel free to add them in the comments section.
Resources
The Trevor Project
http://www.thetrevorproject.org/home2.aspx         or 1-866-4-U-Trevor
The Trevor Project is the leading national organization focused on crisis and suicide prevention efforts among lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning (LGBTQ) youth.
The Trevor Project operates the only accredited, nationwide, around-the-clock crisis and suicide prevention helpline for LGBTQ youth. If you or a friend are feeling lost or alone, call The Trevor Helpline. There is hope, there is help.
Pride for Youth
http://www.longislandcrisiscenter.org/pfyindex.htm   or 516-679-9000
Based in Long Island. They are not a 24 hour but there is usually someone there between 10 am and 8 pm eastern time. They are amazing for listening, giving advice, and helping you to find resources.They are caring, accepting, and fun to talk to.
Suicide Hotline
http://suicidehotlines.com/     or 1-800-SUICIDE
A great resource for when you just can't deal with life anymore. The counselors there are great for talking you down. They listen, and do not judge you. Sometimes all it takes is a compassionate ear.
Domestic Abuse Hotline
http://www.ndvh.org/      or 1-800-799-SAFE
Domestic abuse not only occurs between partners, but can also occur with a parent, sibling, etc. Do not hesitate to call. Even if it is verbal, it is still abuse.You do not have to live with domestic violence. There is always another way.

Dear Mr. President

Dear Mr President,
I understand that you have a job to do and that you are trying to do what you think is right for everyone. But please, for once, listen to the little people. Those of us who are lost in the system because we're not on welfare, but we don't make enough for these tax breaks to help us either. Please listen to the families who's husbands, wives, fathers, mothers, and children are putting their lives at risk for a country that they love.  I can't say that I speak for all of them, but please, please, just hear me out.
We don't want longer school days or school years. We see our children for brief periods at a time some days, and then sometimes, not for months or upwards of a year at all. We cherish the few hours between school and bedtime that we get during the day. We look forward to summer break with relish, because that's the only time that we can all take a vacation together to really spend some time with each other. We don't use our vacation time to travel the world. We use it to see family. To let Granny's and Grandpa's see their grandbabies that maybe aren't babies so much anymore. Those days that we can have together are few and far between and we beg that you don't take them away.
As for welfare, there are so many people right now that are abusing the system. There are people on welfare right now that have been on it for years. That don't go out and get jobs because they know that the system is taking care of them. They pretend to look for jobs or they only look at jobs that they know that they don't qualify for. So many people rely on welfare to take care of them completely. I think that welfare should be used only to help you get back on your feet. There should be a strict limit to how long you can receive it. It is up to each one of us to provide for ourselves. Sure, there are going to be times when things are difficult and we will need some help. Yet so many use the benefits and use them and use them. I know several people who have never worked because welfare has always been available to them. I know that there are supposed to be limits and that there are supposed to be cut offs, but they are not enforced. They are not being stuck too. I fully believe that 6 months of benefits in a 5 year time period should be enough to get you back on your feet if you are doing what you can for yourself and your own family. I have had to go on welfare, and I shocked everyone when I voluntarily cut my benefits as soon as I had gotten a job and received a single paycheck. I utilized the service only while I was in dire need of it. That's how it should be.
Now, let's talk about Social Security if you don't mind. I know several people who are receiving it  that also don't need it. A former friend of mine has more income in her household from Social Security than we do, and my husband works in the military full time, and I take in baby sitting jobs whenever I can to help out.  Her husband receives SSI because he has schizophrenia. HER daughter (not his) receives it because he does.  I am fine with that. Now,she has a lawyer and is probably going to be getting even more money because they just took it to the federal courts and fought for it. She admitted to me yesterday that she just quit. That it's easier to let the government take care of them. Do you realize that they are using this money that they get for disability to go to concerts? They just dropped over $400 on concert tickets. Concerts that we can't afford with my husband working his butt off. I stay home because the cost of child care is extreme. So I offer cheap child care whenever someone needs a back up. We still can't afford the things that they can. They eat out nightly, and not always cheap places either. He buys her jewelry just because they have a few extra hundred laying around.  So how is it that we struggle some months to maintain, and yet a family that isn't working, that has a person that is about to receive money because she has manipulated everyone into believing that she is hurt is living a more carefree life than us.  She's not disabled. . She has bragged about how they played the system. Hence why she is now a former friend and no longer a friend.
Immigrants, please please, let's make them legally be here before we help them out. Please. I"m not saying that we shouldn't help them, but let's help the ones that are taking the time to get here legally, instead of rewarding those who are breaking the law.
Oh, I also have a question for you. I'm not trying to be hostile or petty, but I have honestly wondered this. If you provide this medical plan to people, then do we have a right to refuse to pay that tax? I am wondering because if a doctor or a nurse believes that something is morally wrong, then they are not obligated to provide the service. I know this from experience. So since I am against abortion with every fiber of my being, and it is proposed that this medical plan cover abortion, do I not pay it? Because technically, if I pay the tax on it, then I am paying to help someone murder their baby. How do you plan on addressing that issue? Because out of everything, that's what bothers me the most. Knowing that I might be indirectly responsible for the murder of an innocent child.
Please, Mr. Obama, listen to the little voices. I know that we get lost sometimes because we're seen as unimportant, or because we live our lives without causing too many ripples. Don't forget about us. We are still people too, and we still need our President to be our voice.
So if you're reading this, thank you. If not, well, maybe this will put a buzz in someone's ear and they would think to tell you.
Sincerely,
A lost voice

An Eye for an Eye

So, what is so wrong with wanting an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth?  Honestly, I think our country would be a lot better off  if we adopted this policy.  If some guy rapes a little six year old girl, then shove a horses penis into his rear end unexpectedly  and see if he rapes again.  I'm sure that's how brutal it felt to that little girl.  If someone murders someone, and they get the death penalty, let's not give them a bunch of appeals and then tell them when they are going to die.  Put them in prison and kill them the same way they killed. Unexpectedly, and just as violently.  If someone burglarizes someone, then burglarize someone that they love.  Believe it or not, criminals might start thinking about the consequences of their actions.  I'm so sick of felons having more privileges than our military members do.  I'm sick and tired of honest citizens paying out their hard earned money to support these people.  I mean seriously, the saying is, "Do unto others as you wish to have done unto you"... well.. what are we waiting for?  People get away with too much. California seems to be the strictest, but they still get three felonies before they get life.  My  biological mother has over sixty convictions. Not kidding you, and Colorado still has her walking around a free woman. They even paid for her to go to college.  Oh, and she automatically gets food stamps because she went to prison.  What kind of bullshit  is that? She doesn't even qualify income wise. I'm so sick of this.   Start treating them the way that they treat others. That's how you begin to make changes in this country. Forget prisoners rights.   They should have  lost those when they committed their  crime.

A woman's place is in the kitchen

Oh kiss my white ass, you know I’m right. Women are meant to take care of the family. We are supposed to nurture our children. Hell, even our men need babied sometimes. I personally feel that a woman should take care of the cooking and the cleaning. A man should not have to work all day and then come home to a filthy house and take out. Yes, it’s ok to order out on occasion, but take out more than home cooked? Hell no. A man should not have to take on your chores too. Now, I can fully understand a man helping out around the house. There is a big difference. You should be able to maintain a level of cleanliness without him. However, there are times when shit just gets overwhelming. At that point, he needs to get off of his ass and help out a little. But to those women who are stay at home moms that don’t do shit, all I have to say is “Thanks”. You have given the rest of us a bad name. I can’t believe the number of women on this base that are SAHM that don’t do a damned thing. One woman even sends her kid to day care full day (at her husbands expense) so that she can have alone time. She doesn’t work. At all. She also doesn’t take care of her kid, clean, or cook. All clothes are sent out to the dry cleaners because she refuses to do laundry either. It irritates me  that she does this. Her husband has to work two jobs to support this. She claims that she takes care of dinner every night. Well, if picking up the phone and ordering pizza counts, then I guess she does. And people that  don’t take care of their  kids… That pisses me off too. You had the kids. Grandparents are not built in babysitters. There is a such thing as taking advantage. Now, if you actually take care of your kids on a regular basis, and your parents are willing to help you out, that’s one thing. But if you are pawning your kids off on everyone else, and you’re not taking up your place in the kitchen either, well then, you have serious issues. So, to all of you horrible wives out there giving the rest of us a bad name, kick off your high heels, tie an apron around your waist, and go cook your man some dinner. Dammit.

He's gay, I'm a fag hag. So what

I swear to Hades that breeders are some of the dumbest people on Earth. (Yes, I’m a breeder too). I am so sick and  tired of all of the stupid stereotypes that come to play when someone comes out of the closet. I hate hearing that it’s disgusting, or morally wrong.
First of all, no one CHOOSES to be gay. Who in the world would chose a life where they can’t be themselves? Where they are judged on a day to day basis, not only by society but by the people that are supposed to love them unconditionally? Being gay is not contagious. It’s not a disease. There is absolutely nothing  wrong with gays, lesbians, pansexuals, transexuals, bisexuals, trysexuals, asexuals, ambisexuals, heteroflexible, homoflexible, or any other sexual being out there.
Oh, and let’s get a few things straight. First of all, not all gay people are prancing pink princesses. And the ones who are, just have really kick butt  personalities and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that either.
Second of all, just because someone is gay, it does not mean that they are attracted to you. I’m so sick of hearing people say that they are fine with gays as long as they don’t hit on them. What makes you think you’re so hot? Believe it or not, the gay world has taste too. Trust me, most of them have really good taste. A few of my  gay guy friends have like superpowers to find the hottest men! I’m so jealous.
Third, not all gay people have random sex. They are not all sluts. Gays are just as capable of being in a committed relationship as you are. They laugh, cry, love and hate just like the rest of us. They want happiness, they want a life where they can love and be loved. No different than you or me.
Fourth, not all gays like Brittany Spears, or glitter. They do not all want to become your shopping buddies, they do not want to make floats and prance around in lingerie. And to the ones that do: I admire your confidence and only wish that I was that comfortable in a corset!
Fifth, someone who is gay does not have to have had sex with the same sex to know that they are gay. Did you have to have sex to know that you were straight? Well? Yeah, that’s what I thought.
So stop being such idiots. A wonderful person once said “I’m so far in the closet, I’m having adventures in Narnia”. This should never happen. Why are we so  harsh, so cruel? Why can’t we just accept that there are men that prefer men and women that enjoy women? That people should be able to  live the way that they want to live without judgement from us? It broke my heart to find out that my friend is scared to come out of the closet to anyone else.  But I can’t blame him. I don’t know that I would either if all there was out of the closet was a bunch of close minded people.
Grow up. Realize that not everyone can be like you (or wants to for that matter). Embrace the differences that we all have. Embrace the rainbow.
I am a total fag hag. Through and through. I love all of my friends, although honestly, I’m pretty partial to my gay friends. I can always count on them being honest with me, I can count on them calling me out when I’m being stupid, and dammit, gays bars are just a hell of a good time.
You’re missing out on some pretty amazing people when you close your mind. You will never know the utter awesomeness of some, because you’re too busy judging them to really open your eyes and see who they are. Try taking the blinders off. Give each person a chance. Judge them by what they do to you. How they treat you. Don’t judge without ever having talked to them. Without having spent time with someone.
Don’t make a painful life worse. You have no idea how important a friends acceptance can be. It can honestly be the difference between life and death for some. But that’s for another day

You're knocked up, AGAIN?

There are so many subjects that I am passionate about. I am an opinionated person. I can't help it. I say what I'm thinking for the most part. Yep, I should have gotten my rear end kicked a time or two for mouthing off the way that I have, but it's never happened. For the most part, people just break down in tears apologizing to me. Wtf? No. That's not what I want. I want you to stand up for yourself. I want you to show me that you will stand by your opinions, no matter what I have to say about it. It sucks to debate with someone who refuses to stand behind their beliefs.
Anyways, I'm going to write about something pretty personal today. I'm going to spout off at the mouth because I'm pissed. If my post offends you, well, then you're probably the type of person that I'm ranting about anyways, so go ahead, feel all butt hurt. I don't really care.
I've got to give you a little back story, so maybe you'll understand why I feel the way that I do.
I got pregnant at 17.
I got pregnant again at 19 and gave custody to her father while I was in the military, because she wasn't adjusting to my deployments and constant moving. The judge wouldn't grant me custody back because it would have been taking her away from a "stable" home.
I was a single parent because my husband left me for some chick that he used to bang in high school.
I was raped and got pregnant again. I was going to keep the baby, but I miscarried.
I got pregnant in 2003 and lost my child at 32 weeks. She was stillborn.
I got pregnant in 2005 and watched my son sit in the NICU for 3 1/2 months fighting for his life.
Then I got cancer and had to have a hysterectomy. No more babies for me.
My second husband, the father of the last two then walked out on me and is now making babies with everyone else and not taking care of any of them.
I take care of my kids. I do not rely on anyone else to do that for me.
So there's the back story. Not much of a story, I may or may not give you more details later. For now, all you need are the facts.
Now, on to my rant. I am so sick and tired of people getting pregnant that shouldn't be having kids. I'm tired of people on welfare having more babies, when they can't even feed them. I'm sick and tired of people having kids that don't take care of the ones that they currently have. As in the physical sense. The ones that don't get up in the mornings to take care of their children because "they're not morning people". I mean really? You had kids. What did you expect? That you were going to get to sleep in every day? Give me a break. Yet, that's exactly what's going on.
Someone in the family is pregnant. She shouldn't be. She already has 3 kids that she doesn't take care of. She doesn't get up with them, she can't handle cleaning up puke, she can't deal with diarreah, nothing. So why in the hell is she having another one? This same person called me on the anniversary of my daughters death to tell me that she was pregnant. She wanted to give me a chance to "get over it so that I could be happy for her". Seriously? No. I'm not happy for you. I can't be happy for you. You're a shitty mom, yet you're having another one? The thing that kills me, is that she was TRYING. This wasn't one of those pregnancies that has you sitting there freaking out wondering that you were going to do. This was planned. Not happy. Not happy at all.
Then there's the neighbor that's pregnant. She lives in a 2 bedroom duplex and has 11 cats and dogs. Her house is disgusting. She has animal feces and urine everywhere. She was also trying to get pregnant. She is well into her second trimester and her house is still horrifying. She is about to bring a child into these conditions but sees nothing wrong with it.  She's also one of those pregnant women that has no other children, but feels the need to tell others how to raise their kids. She thinks nothing of telling anyone and everyone that she would NEVER do that to her child. She had the nerve to say something to me about my child having ice cream for dinner last night. He just had surgery. The doctor told him to have ice cream for dinner. So um, yeah. She can shut up. Until she has a child, she can't really say what she will and won't do, because she doesn't KNOW.
Then there are those women who think that an abortion is a valid form of birth control. What the hell? There are people like me out there who can only have another child if I can come up with the money to essentially buy a child from an adoption agency. My kids don't go without, and yes, they are fairly spoiled. However, I can't just pull fifty grand out of my ass to get another child. I'm barren. It's not feasible that my husband and I will ever have more children, and yet you are going to MURDER yours simply because it's a bad time for you to have a baby? Don't you think that 17 was a bad time for me? Guess what? I grew up. I took care of my kids. I bent over backwards to make sure that they always had what they needed. Yes, there were times when I had to rely on welfare. I'm not proud of that. However, I always got off of welfare the minute I could afford to feed my children on my own. I only used it as a leg up when I had no other choice. Never, not once, did I ever use the system for a day longer than I absolutely needed it. I did everything I could to take care of my babies. I was 17 and still finished school. I am a good mom. My kids are thriving. They are intelligent, sweet kids that for the most part don't act out too much. Not to say that any of us are perfect, because we're not. But at least we try. We try hard. It's not always easy, but they are my children, my responsibility. I chose to have sex, therefore I chose to become a mother. Stop killing your babies. You stupid, selfish, immature idiots.
I'm not against all people having kids. I'm really not. My best friend is pregnant right now and I am absolutely thrilled for her. My cousin is pregnant, and even though she has 18 month old twins, and a high chance of having twins again, I'm still happy for her. Both of these women take care of their children. They will, without a doubt, do what they have to do to make sure that their children are thriving. They get up in the mornings with them. They clean up the puke, they keep the house relatively clean. I understand that homes get messy. Messy is fine. Filthy is not.
If you can't take care of your kids, or you're too damned lazy too, then stop having them. Don't set out to get pregnant when you're already a shitty mom. Kids aren't toys. They aren't there for you to get attention. They are hard work. They are precious little miracles that need you to love them, to take care of them. To chase away the nightmares. To kiss boo boos and owies. To put dinner on the table, to show them how families are supposed to be. They look to you for guidance. Be a positive influence for your kids so that they have a chance to be good influences on their children.
Children should be cherished and loved. They shouldn't be used to manipulate people into staying with you. They shouldn't be used because you're not getting the attention that you are craving. They shouldn't be used as a weapon against someone else. They are not bargaining chips.
Grow up women. Get a grip on reality.
You chose to get pregnant. Even if it wasn't intentionally. You still made that choice. So get off your asses and become mothers. Stop taking those babies for granted. They deserve so much more than that.