There are so many subjects that I am passionate about. I am an opinionated person. I can't help it. I say what I'm thinking for the most part. Yep, I should have gotten my rear end kicked a time or two for mouthing off the way that I have, but it's never happened. For the most part, people just break down in tears apologizing to me. Wtf? No. That's not what I want. I want you to stand up for yourself. I want you to show me that you will stand by your opinions, no matter what I have to say about it. It sucks to debate with someone who refuses to stand behind their beliefs.
Anyways, I'm going to write about something pretty personal today. I'm going to spout off at the mouth because I'm pissed. If my post offends you, well, then you're probably the type of person that I'm ranting about anyways, so go ahead, feel all butt hurt. I don't really care.
I've got to give you a little back story, so maybe you'll understand why I feel the way that I do.
I got pregnant at 17.
I got pregnant again at 19 and gave custody to her father while I was in the military, because she wasn't adjusting to my deployments and constant moving. The judge wouldn't grant me custody back because it would have been taking her away from a "stable" home.
I was a single parent because my husband left me for some chick that he used to bang in high school.
I was raped and got pregnant again. I was going to keep the baby, but I miscarried.
I got pregnant in 2003 and lost my child at 32 weeks. She was stillborn.
I got pregnant in 2005 and watched my son sit in the NICU for 3 1/2 months fighting for his life.
Then I got cancer and had to have a hysterectomy. No more babies for me.
My second husband, the father of the last two then walked out on me and is now making babies with everyone else and not taking care of any of them.
I take care of my kids. I do not rely on anyone else to do that for me.
So there's the back story. Not much of a story, I may or may not give you more details later. For now, all you need are the facts.
Now, on to my rant. I am so sick and tired of people getting pregnant that shouldn't be having kids. I'm tired of people on welfare having more babies, when they can't even feed them. I'm sick and tired of people having kids that don't take care of the ones that they currently have. As in the physical sense. The ones that don't get up in the mornings to take care of their children because "they're not morning people". I mean really? You had kids. What did you expect? That you were going to get to sleep in every day? Give me a break. Yet, that's exactly what's going on.
Someone in the family is pregnant. She shouldn't be. She already has 3 kids that she doesn't take care of. She doesn't get up with them, she can't handle cleaning up puke, she can't deal with diarreah, nothing. So why in the hell is she having another one? This same person called me on the anniversary of my daughters death to tell me that she was pregnant. She wanted to give me a chance to "get over it so that I could be happy for her". Seriously? No. I'm not happy for you. I can't be happy for you. You're a shitty mom, yet you're having another one? The thing that kills me, is that she was TRYING. This wasn't one of those pregnancies that has you sitting there freaking out wondering that you were going to do. This was planned. Not happy. Not happy at all.
Then there's the neighbor that's pregnant. She lives in a 2 bedroom duplex and has 11 cats and dogs. Her house is disgusting. She has animal feces and urine everywhere. She was also trying to get pregnant. She is well into her second trimester and her house is still horrifying. She is about to bring a child into these conditions but sees nothing wrong with it. She's also one of those pregnant women that has no other children, but feels the need to tell others how to raise their kids. She thinks nothing of telling anyone and everyone that she would NEVER do that to her child. She had the nerve to say something to me about my child having ice cream for dinner last night. He just had surgery. The doctor told him to have ice cream for dinner. So um, yeah. She can shut up. Until she has a child, she can't really say what she will and won't do, because she doesn't KNOW.
Then there are those women who think that an abortion is a valid form of birth control. What the hell? There are people like me out there who can only have another child if I can come up with the money to essentially buy a child from an adoption agency. My kids don't go without, and yes, they are fairly spoiled. However, I can't just pull fifty grand out of my ass to get another child. I'm barren. It's not feasible that my husband and I will ever have more children, and yet you are going to MURDER yours simply because it's a bad time for you to have a baby? Don't you think that 17 was a bad time for me? Guess what? I grew up. I took care of my kids. I bent over backwards to make sure that they always had what they needed. Yes, there were times when I had to rely on welfare. I'm not proud of that. However, I always got off of welfare the minute I could afford to feed my children on my own. I only used it as a leg up when I had no other choice. Never, not once, did I ever use the system for a day longer than I absolutely needed it. I did everything I could to take care of my babies. I was 17 and still finished school. I am a good mom. My kids are thriving. They are intelligent, sweet kids that for the most part don't act out too much. Not to say that any of us are perfect, because we're not. But at least we try. We try hard. It's not always easy, but they are my children, my responsibility. I chose to have sex, therefore I chose to become a mother. Stop killing your babies. You stupid, selfish, immature idiots.
I'm not against all people having kids. I'm really not. My best friend is pregnant right now and I am absolutely thrilled for her. My cousin is pregnant, and even though she has 18 month old twins, and a high chance of having twins again, I'm still happy for her. Both of these women take care of their children. They will, without a doubt, do what they have to do to make sure that their children are thriving. They get up in the mornings with them. They clean up the puke, they keep the house relatively clean. I understand that homes get messy. Messy is fine. Filthy is not.
If you can't take care of your kids, or you're too damned lazy too, then stop having them. Don't set out to get pregnant when you're already a shitty mom. Kids aren't toys. They aren't there for you to get attention. They are hard work. They are precious little miracles that need you to love them, to take care of them. To chase away the nightmares. To kiss boo boos and owies. To put dinner on the table, to show them how families are supposed to be. They look to you for guidance. Be a positive influence for your kids so that they have a chance to be good influences on their children.
Children should be cherished and loved. They shouldn't be used to manipulate people into staying with you. They shouldn't be used because you're not getting the attention that you are craving. They shouldn't be used as a weapon against someone else. They are not bargaining chips.
Grow up women. Get a grip on reality.
You chose to get pregnant. Even if it wasn't intentionally. You still made that choice. So get off your asses and become mothers. Stop taking those babies for granted. They deserve so much more than that.