Monday, December 31, 2012

What's 2013 got in store for me?

I remember sitting at home exactly a year ago trying to come up with some New Year's resolutions. I can't remember what all I said I would attempt to accomplish, but knowing me, it probably wasn't all that much. I'm too lazy to make huge goals for myself. =P

As I sit here tonight though, I can't help but reflect on this past year. It's been a rough one for my family and for so many of the people that I know and love. All for various reasons, but affecting each of us in our own ways.

I won't recap the entire year. If you read this blog, then you are well aware of some of the issues that have plagued my family over the last 12 months.

I've seen a lot of growth in the face of adversity this year though too.

First and foremost is my son. At 15, he has stood up to peer pressure in a way a lot of kids his age wouldn't have been able to do. He was brutally assaulted because of it and yet, he still stands strong. He hasn't changed who he is. He hasn't changed his beliefs, his morals, his compassion for others. He has shown me just how much he trusts his father and I. He opened up and told us his darkest secrets, trusting us to be there for him and to nurture him. He reached out to us and allowed us to guide him until he was strong enough to stand on his own a little more again. He's still hurting, but he is such a strong young man and I couldn't possibly be prouder of him. As a mother, I know that even though he has been hurting, he will conquer the hurt and the pain. He will fall when he needs to, and he will brush himself off and stand up tall and proud again. I have so much respect for him. He is a wonderful man child and I love just watching him grow.

I've formed and lost a lot of friendships this year. It's been rough. Really rough. Yet, through it all, my true friends have shown themselves in ways that I never imagined. There were people in my life who kicked me when I was down. While battling depression, they treated me horribly. It hurt. A lot. However, these other incredible, often overlooked, people came forward and really pulled me through the worst of my depression. I have some of the most incredible people in my life and I am so grateful for them. I'm pickier about my friendships now. Who I let in and who I don't. I have found my voice and no longer hesitate to tell others how I truly feel. Because of these friends who have been there, I am stronger. I no longer settle for good enough. I know who my true friends are, and they are the sort of friends that will stick around well into old age. No one keeps score, no one owes the other anything. We are just there for each other. I can't think of a better kind of friend to have. They are the kind that becomes family.

My husband and I are closer than ever. With everything that we've dealt with, we could have chosen to take it all out on each other. I'm not going to lie and try to pretend that we never have. There have been times in the past year where we've gotten pretty crabby with each other over something that neither of us could control. However, we've learned to really open up and communicate with each other. We talk about everything now. And as much as I hate to admit it, I've even started listening to some of his advice. He's a very smart man, and it would do me good to listen when he speaks on occasion. I'm learning. We hold each other accountable now. We have opened up and we talk so much easier than we ever have before. We've learned lessons and grown closer through the adversity that has happened in our lives. He is truly my very best friend in the world and I love him more and more every single day.

Emotionally, mentally, physically... Our family has grown. We've always been close, but now, it's different. It's stronger. There is a bond there that doesn't come from blood, DNA or vows. It comes from truly loving each other and putting in an effort each and every day to be there for each other. We are our own force against the world when we need to be. Together, we are unstoppable.

I don't know what 2013 has in store for me and my family. What I do know is that no matter what it brings, we will make it though. We will still laugh, and hold each other. We'll still surprise each other with little gifts just because. I'll learn new recipes because my husband or kids mention something that they like. We'll likely pick up and move at some point this year. We'll say goodbyes and hellos. We'll grow and change and adapt. But most of all, we'll love. Because that's what we do here. We love each other and we do so much more than just get through the bad times. We survive those and give our all to living a life that we can all share and enjoy together.

So bring it on 2013! This family is ready for you!